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Succinct Yet FUBAR

This is probably the post after which I am going to take a break from blogging. Again :) I have not been regular here anyways but the main reason here is this Posterous is not as good as I assumed it would be. I tried Tumblr too but both of these are okay for Microblogging only. Sharing stuff or photoblogging mostly. So, once again, sorry for this, but I will have to shake the blog address a bit and will come up with a new blog, most probably on the WordPress as that seems to be still the most robust blogging platform apart from Blogger. And that is going to take some time to setup the way I want. Since we are connected in multiple ways on Facebook, Twitter and Gtalk, it should not take you much time to update the blogroll or feed settings. And I will shamelessly keep pimping the blog URL at your face too. Ok thanks bye.

I am not a Shah Rukh Khan fan. Nobody in my home is. While I was growing up, we never got excited for any SRK movie.I have always made fun of his stammering and his non-heroish looks. Once I was told that I stammer and speak like SRK by a kid. The kid is no more. He has grown into a man, I mean. I detest every advertisement I see of him. Each crappier than the other. I change channels when I see movies like Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai or Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge faster than the speed of light or even Quark. So basically, you must have got by now that I am not a Shah Rukh Khan fan.

But then I watched Ra. One yesterday. Even if, all the script looks a khichdi of all the Hollywood action flicks, the dig he has taken on South Indian accent looks cheesy, his cheap comic tricks of grabbing the crotch, double meaning one-liners, Ra. One still manages to end up as an entertaining Superhero movie by Indian standards. And I was glad to see that Indian standards are rising. Yep. If you compare it with Hollywood, you are as smart as a pigeon sitting on Mayawati’s statue. As far as graphics are concerned, like Rajinikanth’s err Superstar Rajinikanth’s Endhiran the Robot, this is the best and most detailed CGI I have ever seen in any Indian movie. The scene involving the train didn’t turn out as per the expectations but the ending of that scene was amazing. I won’t go much into the detail of the movie as it will spoil the fun if you are going to watch it.

Frankly, it is not about Ra. One. It is just about the same Indian mentality which prohibits one from being innovative and trying to do which doesn’t coincide with stereotypes. We oppose the change. Even if it is positive, we are first to diss it. We love to make fun. We can go any length and depth to join the bandwagon of making of fun of others and we have no answers if we ourselves become the subject of fun. 

Concluding, Ra. One, along with Robot and Krishh, tries very hard to break new grounds in Indian Cinema. Much effort has been put into doing something which is not usually accepted by the general Indian audience. And I feel if we see any effort in anything, we should appreciate it. I enjoyed Ra. One. Lower expectations, much fun!

P.S.: For me his best movies were Darr, Baazigar and Anjaam. And Chak De India!

I don’t know if it is just me but I find that people who wear Circular Lenses/ Round Frames/ Windsor Spectacles, turn out to be revolutionaries. Time and again, someone came up with these kind of glasses and people went crazy for them. And this has happened across cultures. I need not mention the achievements the following people did as everyone will be able to identify them instantly.

Gandhi_ji
Lennon

Hp

And then…

Jobs

When I was growing up in the Nostalgic 90s, the world was changing faster than it did in the last few decades. Everything was becoming Digital from Analog. Though many of my friends had already seen and touched it, only in 1996 I got my hands on the thing called a Personal Computer in school Computer Lab. We were asked to keep our shoes outside the lab for some reason. That made the whole experience more mysterious. From the outside of the lab, one could hear the sound of Dot Matrix Printer. Heavenly scratching sound which only the Radio could match when stations were tuned. We entered the lab. It was dim. Obviously I had seen them on TV and probably at other kids’ homes but this was the first time I got the chance to lay my fingers on them. It was White. It had deep black and white screen where one could see actual rastering on the CRT screen if the eye lids were kept slightly closed. And then we did the best thing in the world one could do. Make a circle on the screen by giving instructions to it, in LOGO.

REPEAT 360 [FD 1 RT 1]

And I loved it. I decided at once that I need this at home. NOW. But due to some reasons, I couldn’t get it. Later in 1997, my friend bought one. I went to his home one day and they were watching ‘Titanic‘ on it. Probably, they were at that scene so as soon as I entered their room, they switched if off abruptly. I was jealous. Then later in 1998, I saw this on TV.

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I became more jealous. I asked my parents when can I have this thing. They said that they’ve heard that Computer distracts good students from studying (which holds true) so they’ll buy one for me when I actually need it. So around that time and 1999, people had started buying Personal Computers at home. I got to know that one another version of Personal Computer was there and it was called ‘iMac’. Totally droolable stuff even then. Sigh. I got my computer in 2004 FYI.

Steve Jobs was one figure who actually revolutionized this personal technology thingy. I won’t go further as everyone knows it already. I don’t own any Apple product even now. Though I want to have them all. The only Apple product I use is their software iTunes. And yet I admire Steve Jobs and his work continues to amaze me. His greatest ‘tech intervention’ is the tablet. I am sure it will ultimately replace our notebooks and textbooks. It is just a matter of time. That’s what his vision must have been, isn’t it? What fascinated me when I was growing up was made by him and his team ad people like him. Though, I hope someone else will rise up like him and keep us involved in the hype when a new gadget gets revealed.

R.I.P Steven Jobs. The world has become Jobless now and we will take some time to cope up with the loss.

And one more thing…

I don’t know if it is the bustard Bangalore Village traffic or depletion in Ozone layer but now a days I have become very difficult to impress. I am the new Rajeev Masand it seems. And this time, it is about music. 

Music is like religion. People consider their favorite artists God like. The crowd which gathers during their favorite artist’s show gets literally hypnotized and the artist can make them do anything if he/she desires. People leave jobs and families to pursue their dreams in music and what not. And like religion, it should not be forced upon others. What music you might like and sing in your shower, can be excruciatingly painful to others. Rap is not music for some, and it is the music for some. Rock is heavenly for some while it is noise for the others.

I assume I have been instigated enough to write a music review for the album ‘Rockstar’. 

If one wins an award, that too an Academy Award, for a midly mediocre number (which had great lyrics by Gulzar and performed brilliantly by Sukhwinder Singh though), one can actually lower the standard he created for himself. AR Rahman is the best music talent India has to offer to the world, no doubt about it. But few recent creations of his, including the Common Wealth Games Theme Song left everyone disappointed. Later with 127 Hours, ‘If I Rise‘ feat. Dido, he again proved his mettle overseas but this remained unheard of in India mostly. The Airtel Theme Song, made in some alien language has proved as popular as the new logo design of Airtel. The Hero Motors theme gives better vibes but again they sound similar to ‘Gurus of Peace‘. Sounded similar to me at least. So, after creaying mind blowing master pieces again and again, in the past couple of years, AR Rahman failed to do justice to himself. Even Sachin gets out on duck sometimes. Reasonable. Now, he is supposedly back with the album ‘Rockstar’. 

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Surprisingly, the movie has whopping 14 tracks. I don’t remember ARR coming out with so many songs in one go. Probably, the storyline of the movie demanded it like this. Most of the songs are done by himself or the protagonist voice for the movie Mohit Chauhan. By the way, I have been one of the luckiest people who have seen him sing live. Usually he was related to soft romantic numbers which were really very melodious and loved by all, this time he is all out performing Rock. Imtiaz Ali’s previous movies had been musically very positive so all the expectations are high again as this time he joined hands with the best in the business. Now instead of acting over-smart music critic and all, I will get directly to the point. Out of 14, my take on few:

  1. Katiya Karoon – Sounds similar to 1000 times heard Punjabi Gidda songs in 1000 movies. Probably it was heard in Love Aaj Kal in some form as well. Meh.
  2. Kun Faya Kun – 3rd best song of the album. Sounds like Khwaaja Mere Khwaja revisited. They tried to make it sound like Qawwali but it ends up like a Hindu Bhajan as far as the Percussion beats are concerned. They have tried to add too many things in one song and will sound good when seen in the movie. Taking Storyline ahead with music running along is what quality Cinema supposed to do.
  3. Sadda Haq – Latest Anthem of the Youth? People on TL and Newsfeed are growing crazy as if they sung this song. Excuse me? Where has DK Bose gone? Sadda Haq is the kind of songs which resembles typical ARR. Song will grow as the time progresses. Hear any 10 of the songs they play in WWE, you will find this one boring. Mohit Chauhan sounds being tested here. From Rang De Basanti’s – Khoon Chala to Jab We Met’s – Tum Se Hi to Sadda Haq he has come a long way and no longer restricted to Dooba Dooba. This song should play an important part in the movie, and the success/failure of this song probably depict the success or failure of the movie. As of now, all positive review except one negative. From my side that is. Sounds to me very similar to any rock song from West. 
  4. Sheher Main – They could have skipped this song from adding it to the album.
  5. Hawaa Hawaa - Read somewhere that this was the most difficult song because of the tempo and the beat. I have heard a very similar sounding song in Guzaarish. Udi Udi, you remember? Tango with Salsa, revisited with male voice.
  6. Aur Ho – This is the kind of song which suits Mohit Chauhan best.Will be liked by everyone.
  7. Jo Bhi Main – Best song from the album. Gets on easily on the lips and sounds awesome on the ears. The lyrics are again so easy to humm and still carry deep meaning. I loved it.

Again, my opinion. Your opinion can surely be different. Overall, ARR is yet to be back, though Rockstar if the movie matches its expectation, he will be very close to being back. Hitting two-three strings doesn’t make a Rockstar.

Naah, this is not a racist post. I leave it to Madrasan and other intelligent Open Letter Writers. Well, I guess the readers (sorry for adding the’s’) of this blog know what does the word ‘Chinki’ refer to. In case you don’t know, ‘Chinkis’ is a term collectively used for all the people from North East. Please check out the North Eastern states of India sometimes for General Knowledge purpose at least. Who knows one might ask you the names of those states in some Quiz. We even cross the boundary which means North refers to full China and Mongolia while East refers to all the South Asian countries till Japan. Also, anyone with small eyes and identical facial features are called as Chinkis.

The only human contact I had with them, had been in distant past, like the one which is in faint Black and White and not even Sepia. My bus conductor in 1st Standard was a Nepali along with some of the helper staff of school who also used to add Bahadur at the end of their names. Nice people. Few other I had met usually in restaurants as waiters or they were cooks who made awesome chowmein and lately Momos and Gobhi Manchurian. Cutting it short, I had just met those Chinkis whose monthly income was in the order of twice or thrice of ’32 Rs.’ benchmark. Sad.

Then I came to Bangalore and went to Brigade Road. Here the scene was very different. Here, the crowd was all Yo! types and Chinkis here were all tip-top, Haute Couture clan, ready to ramp-walk types, tattooed and Yo! All the chain of restaurants who serve Chinese (food) like Beijing Bites, Chung Wah, Mainland China still hire North Eastern Indians so that ambience looks realistic. Obviously, I had grown enough to understand that India contains every kind, poor and rich and these uneven extremities are equally distributed all over. Irony.

Point is, I was slightly saddened by the treatment we Non-Chinkis give to them. Like collectively, people termed South Indians as Madrasis, the title Chinkis has been given to them. Idiotic, although handy to use. While we have amalgamated Northies and Madrasis, we are yet to consider them part of our group. They actually stay away from doing the usual Indian things as well. None of them may be a rapper but they wear that cap tilted and wearing low waist jeans, so low that even Mariana Trench is shy. I am also aware of the treatment girls get in NCR at the hands of high testosterone Brothers from Several Mothers of North Indian states.

In the start of this month I went to Goa. Be jealous. And it was raining all day and night. Laugh. We were a group of 9 guys so we could not enter any disc/pub because they allowed only couple entry. Laugh out Loud, yes you can. So somehow we got to know about 1 decent-ish disco where they allowed Stags. Bloody, this is racism, calling Single guys stag. Anyways, so when we entered the shady ambience, we could see that it was filled mostly by sweaty guys who were dancing like people dance in Baraats. Amidst the sea of guys, there were strategically placed girls, and you guessed it right, they all were Chinkis. The reason of placing them was obvious. They wanted to attract guys who would normally not think of going to a male only disc. Since those girls were like Flood Relief Kits being dropped in a drought, people were continuously bugging them by dancing around them, trying to just touch and eventually asking the ‘rate’ drooling and leaking drinks and other things probably all over. Now, they were not prostitutes as such, I hope, but even a blind guy would ogle at the kind of clothes they were wearing and the makeup they were carrying. The advantage of placing Chinkis there was definitely there because they obviously look different than our usual. And some of the girls were infact paid sex workers, no shit Sherlock.

Though I consider them totally Indians by every means possible and they totally are as well, but sometimes one goes through certain experiences which demeans the whole belief in one go. Not saying that non-Chinkis are all milk-cleaned people with halo over there head, but if we Indians could respect each other’s culture a bit more, I would have been happier. I wish they get mixed in others and allowed others to mix with them. Sometimes, one is responsible for one’s own fate or probably halaat made them like that. 

P.S.: Whenever one imagines a Chinki, one can hear Oriental music in background with people eating noodles from a bowl and with chopsticks. Just a myth. They just know Martial Arts well, that’s it.

P.P.S.: Thanks for not commenting with phrases like ‘Oh, seems like you’re in love with one of them’. Just a myth. I just like some of them just like I like my readers.

P.P.P.S.: I assume it is a very mild post written with no brain applied at all. Apologies.